I Pray.....

Living in a place where people religiously pray 5 times a day often makes me wonder about my way of going about it....Prayers, I have heard are our direct contact with God....I see them praying 5 times a day, and I often wonder if they are in better touch with God than the rest of the world...After all, they pray more frequently and so devotedly too, there 'must' be 'something' to it or they wouldn't be doing it with all their hearts and souls, right!!.....I see the Christians doing the same thing too, and so do the people of many other religions around the world...Is praying in groups, doing it a certain way and doing it a certain number of times a day then to be considered a better approach of being heard by the Almighty, or is it just a way of involving the less enthusiastic and less-learned about the need for it all??.....

But what of those, who are for reasons varied, are not able to reach these places of worship, and those that choose to pray in the comfort of their own homes?...Is their prayer heard by the Lord Almighty? or are their prayers going to be in vain?....Is there a special way that needs to be followed to please the Gods, or is a simple, heartfelt prayer good enough for the Great One??....I for one, choose to believe that a good, heartfelt thanks for the gifts bestowed should be good enough, but I could be so wrong too...I pray among other things for his blessings and I thank him too, but my thanks are as heartfelt, as my demands of him....and I would love to think that my shortcomings are in no way deterring the Lord from hearing me out....

Aren't the idols and places of worship all man-made and all the procedures of doing prayers handed down by word of mouth through generations and eons??....Would it then be wise to blindly follow the words printed and half-understood and sometimes not understood at all, to the words simple but good intentioned!!......I know, idols are man's way of stopping the mind from wandering, it encourages focus, and focused thoughts lead to a higher understanding of things....It might lead to an enlightened stage, which so few are able to accomplish during their life time....I firmly believe in the existence of an invisible good force that guides us all our lives...I believe, that it is this force, that prevents us doing wrong...It guides the way when we are troubled, and keeps a watchful eye over us, when we need it most...Call it conscience, call it God or call it the invisible force.....It is there, and we have all felt it sometime or the other in our lives......I do believe in its existence, but I DO NOT believe in chants, or religious ceremonies which defy logic...I do not believe in doing prayers half-heartedly...I most certainly do not want to believe that I am being bad not knowing the details of my own religion...

I believe, God gifted us this life to savor and cherish.....I believe, that he meant us to search our soul and He meant us to be a good human beings..... and if my not praying in the places of worship, or in a certain way accomplishes his great goal, then so be it...I care not for the judgment of the world, for I have pleased the people I most value, Him and me...and THAT is all that matters!!...The peace of mind and of soul and the accomplishment of being a good human being...If that is a trivial accomplishment, then so be it....I am at peace with myself, and hopefully God will understand my simple human logic :).....

Me, an Average Joe....

Was reading some where that it is no good being mediocre. Be the best at whatever you are - Oh! I have heard that and no doubt used that quite a couple of times myself!! Mediocrity, it seems is considered something of a crime in this world....But despite my best efforts and those of millions others, I am sure, like so many others, I have yet to achieve that stage of being the best there is. Now I know, I'm taking this a bit too literally, but can't help feel this way....I can no doubt be the best there is, for a short while, but ALL the time!!...now THAT is way beyond me!!....

I often wonder how people, who have attained that status are able to maintain it...Is it a conscious effort on their part or is it a skill/curse they were born with? - "the need to be nothing but the very best"!!.....I know, being the best gives quite a high and gets to be quite addictive too, but what exactly is wrong in being just another guy or gal!!....I believe the majority on this earth have to live with this so-called affliction, and while we may dream big and make our best efforts, we still can't seem to reach the pinnacle of our own field of work, but does that make us any less important?!...If anything, I would think, if it weren't for people like us, the so called creme-de-la-creme would have nothing much to rejoice about...It is we, the average people, who give them the distinction of being something special...If it weren't for people like us, the people at the top would have nothing to feed their big egos with. Now, I don't say, that all of them have big egos, but I'm sure many, after attaining that level of perfection, can't help but contract it......While we can very well live without the 'Best of the Best' , they on the other hand, can do nothing without us 'average folk'......'We' give them their ideas of supremacy, of being VIP's , feeding their insatiable need to stay at the top...

Also help me understand, why at all would anyone want to have the constant need to be on a lookout for adversaries, to be clinging on to something that is so fleeting!!....Why would they EVEN WANT such an addiction that takes away so much joy from their real lives in terms of relationships, normalcy of life!.... Something that might fill their wallets, but makes them poorer in terms of real friends, true love, joy & fun!!....I think, NO, I know, I enjoy being a mediocre person!! - a bit dissatisfied at times, wishing on occasion to be the center of attention, but overall quite fulfilled living my small but happy life. A life full of the more important things like friends, love and happiness...Yes, I'm sure the big-wigs wouldn't mind exchanging position with an 'Average Joe' like me ANYTIME :)......Today, I will make sure to thank God for making me so average :).....

Flowers :)...

I feel flowers are the most beautiful creation of nature..Something draws us to them. For some the draw is their simple beauty, for others it is the mild and sometime exotic fragrance, for still others it is the vibrant colours and beautiful patterns.....Personally, I love EVERYTHING about them, for they somehow make me smile :)....The very thought of holding them in my hands gives me pleasure, but then I guess everyone feels the same way about them :)...

What I do not get is, why do they have to be plucked, when they are spreading so much joy by being just where they are meant to be??....You might say, it's done, so that others, who are not as fortunate to live near nature might be able to enjoy their beauty...But have you ever thought, that what might bring a few moments of pleasure, might also bring some amount of sadness with them!....The mere thought, that a thing of so much beauty will die so soon, makes me sad(sigh)...I love them, so I want them to last forever. A childish thought, you'll say!!!...'Nothing lasts forever', you might say, and I know that too, but... I still want, what I want!!... But I guess, that is me in my small world of fantasies . And if it were left upto me, I would make them last for an eternity. Am I being childish again? I don't think so, for isn't that the way how we all want things to be!!... Wishing things that cause us happiness and joy, to last FOREVER!!....I want to hold onto all the love which people give me, I want my good memories to last, I want to have a momento to hold onto forever. Why would I ever want a token of love & affection that brings a moments pleasure but sadness thereafter, that lives a short life, withers away and dies?!!.....Childish again, or is it really?....Fake flowers don't bring me as much pleasure....They no doubt are beautiful, but there is nothing natural about them. What I want is the real deal, the kind that lasts...

I have often wondered, why people like to give flowers to their loved ones...All I could think of is that where words fail, flowers take over...They do the talking, and they do that so eloquently too!!....They are simple, yet talk the delicate and intricate language of love...They are so delicate, yet so powerful...So common, yet have the power to surprise just about anyone...So fragrant that they fill the lives of everyone with love......So rich with beauty, yet so humble....I guess, they are God's perfect gift to us - to admire, to contemplate....Simple, fragrant, beautiful, giving yet so humble and full of love..... I wish I was a flower!!

Trust, I shall...

Trusting people comes so naturally to some.....It is so inherent, that we don't even think twice before making the leap of faith, esp. when it comes to trusting total strangers...We so willing put our faith in such people, only to be left hurt and heart broken many a times...Is that then supposed to be a learning experience for us, a warning that there lurks a predator in every dark alley of life, a warning to stay alert always? or is it just a sign of our loneliness, our need to connect and to keep trying till we find the right kind of people?....

A kind face, kind eyes and a sympathetic voice, that says all the right words, at the right time is the beginning of this journey.....A journey that involves sharing, comforting, laughing and crying with each other...If a human brain can so easily decipher these good vibes from a person, then why can't it as easily pick on the bad vibes coming from the same?.....I guess, the head ALWAYS knows, what the heart refuses to believe...Is thinking with the heart, then the reason for all our troubles??.....I guess, God created the heart for a very specific purpose - to love, feel and enjoy all varied experiences in life, but why couldn't the same Creator leave the command center in full control of decision making...If the head can sense danger, then why does the heart have to be so stubborn and not listen to the signs. Why does the heart have to be so naive!!....Life, I guess, is all about the constant struggle between these two....When the heart wins, we call that being HUMAN, and when the head wins we call it being SMART....I guess, I like being human, someone who hurts a lot but who smiles when things go right :)...

Time heals all wounds....

Was talking to a friend, who had lost someone dear and I tried to console her like anyone would. the talk progressed I said things, which made me wonder if they were all really true....Amongst other things I told her she'd forget the pain eventually, and I did mean it!!...I said,"Time will heal all wounds", sounded so corny, but it got me thinking...Does time really heal all wounds?....It might make the pain go away, but doesn't the scar always remain??...and if the scar remains, aren't there chances that someone might just intentionally or unintentionally scratch it and cause it to bleed again??...I guess, there are things that time does heal, but doesn't it all depend on the intensity of the pain and the willingness of an individual to let go?...If one is lucky enough to be surrounded by friends and loved one's then the wound heals quicker...Sharing reduces the pain...but then shouldn't the adage say "Time, friends, love and sharing heal all wounds"...

But what about things that cause you constant pain, the things that stay in your head and will not go away, even when you try so hard not to think of them...Can you really wish hurt away?...Memories are so powerful, they can make us laugh and they can make us cry. We hold them dear and what we hold dear to the heart can easily cause us pain...Does it follow that we stop creating memories, or is the heart capable of picking and choosing the good from the bad?...Why is it that the one's we love the most, that are capable of hurting us the most? Why can't love just stop at love and friends remain friends forever? Why can't beauty be always beautiful?..Does everything good always go bad because it has no other way to go??...I guess, time will tell it all...The mighty clock is ticking and it is trying to soothe the pain away from the millions that are hurting...Not a piddly feat by any measure, and considering the amount that needs to be done.... I guess, I'll let time take its own time...I suddenly realized why I have so many clocks at home, I guess, it was an unconscious but feeble attempt on my part to bring time home, to start the healing process or should I say hasten it...Time for a time out now. I think I will let the brain do its work and let time work its miracle...

Is it growing up or changing into someone else?

I want things to change, change from what they have been for a long time now...I somehow don't feel that what I am now, is the real me. Where is the me that used to be so carefree, who used to laugh and run around doing things that she always wanted??...Need to find that me again....You might say grow up! But is it ok if I don't want to? Is it ok, if I still want to enjoy life and not be burdened by the so called things that are so expected of me?....I am not trying to run away from responsibility, but I hate the routine that comes with it...Once you start doing it, it is like you are stuck forever...Is that how it should be?.....I'm not talking of studies here, I know, the mere thought of getting away from it all might make many students happy. But that is not what I am talking about...This talk is about life that comes after one is married........

My mind is in constant turmoil, wondering if what I want is the right thing....They say we change with time, but do we really? Our appearances change, our expectations and needs may change with time, but do we change who we really are?....Need to rediscover that child in me again...Feel so lost, afraid and so unsure sometimes.....I guess, I am still a child at heart just look old and am expected to think and behave like a grown up....Need to match the outside with the inside....You might say it is all in the mind....But what do I do when my head and heart are in constant conflict....My heart refuses to accept the harsh logic of the head....Head rebukes the heart for not growing up....Who do I follow!!...I sometimes feel I need divine intervention, but then I hear from good friends and I find all I need to do is change the way I do things...Sounds easy, but is it really??